Posts in Category: Africa 2022
Choose with Faith not Fear
A major excitement this week was successfully obtaining a VPN for my laptop, after many failed attempts with numerous VPN companies. For $10 a month I now sign into a server located in New York City which allows me access to US television, which means I get Hulu back! This is awesome for so many reasons but good today because it led me to the topic of this blog. “May your choices reflect hope and not fear.” The word ‘faith’ is stronger than the word hope, so I am going to use it instead.
The context for the conversation is the actual desire to live the idea of our being spiritual and living from our spiritual identity rather than the ego or our purely human identity. Faith is of the Spirit and fear is of the Ego. Living from the insight of spiritual discernment will almost certainly assure that you continue to move in the direction of soulful fulfillment rather than egoic disappointment. Choosing with faith will almost certainly get you off the hamster-wheel of continuing to make the same mistakes.
Socrates said long ago, “An unexamined life is not worth living” which is meaningful within the conversation about the raising of personal and global consciousness. The awakening of a human being gives life value, purpose and meaning. I no longer even think it lofty! An awakened human being is merely one who has moved out of the past, into the present moment, examined the conditioned self and moved into a state of ever-increasing awareness of being more than our bodies and belongings.
My personal as well as professional work as a spiritual teacher and life coach in the world has to do with living life from a place of spiritual power – not powerlessness. I am passionate about authenticity and freedom and strive always to feel that I am living my deepest path – not a path that has been established for me by outside influences, judgments, or mandates. Since the age of 50, I have been striving to end up on my deathbed satisfied, fulfilled and complete – defined by something within me, call it what you will, not by my parents or the government.
A part of the examination of your life might be to explore whether you make the choices you inevitably must make in life from a place of fear or a place of faith. I am not sure it is easy but certainly worthwhile.
I am an expert of choosing with faith. I was tested last year! In December 2021, 30 days after my left hip replacement. 27 days after an ischemic stroke, my sisters went back to their respective homes, and I was alone in my beautiful house in Southwest Florida. I had abruptly lost my capacity to walk, to work, to drive. I truly was kind of at my wits end. What kept going through my mind is what was said to me by one of the nurses in the Neuro-Ward at Gulf Coast Hospital. She danced and pranced in one day, detecting my deflated state of being and proceeded to cheerfully remind me that God had me and that whatever was going on, I was on God’s time now. She said something to the effect that my hip and my stroke were nothing for God so just put on my dancing shoes and earrings and keep on keeping on.
I realized in that desperate December of 2021 that if I was ever going to demonstrate the truth of the principles I taught, if I was ever going to walk the walk of faith again, it was now. I didn’t really know if I would ever walk properly again. I had just learned about the ‘critical occlusion’ in my brain, I did not know if I was a ticking time bomb for another stroke. I had reluctantly agreed to take medication to thin my blood and lower my cholesterol doing my part to avoid a future situation. I was tested 6 weeks after the stroke and cleared to drive – a kind of miracle all by itself. When I searched my heart and contemplated the possibility of a shortened survival time – I chose to move forward with radical faith. I released life in Southwest Florida. I sold my house and everything in it. I sold my car. I opened a virtual mail repository, sent 4 boxes to a friend, and I brought whatever was left to South Africa. That as on April 1st of 2022. I do not regret the choice to do that even a little. I know that I can always buy another house and car. I can purchase a TV, couch or a new pair of jeans at any time.
Granted, my choice was somewhat radical. I do not have children. I do have a decent social security check each month and a bit of a nest-egg. I was relatively free to be a bit radical. But the value of choosing from faith over fear applies to all choices - big and small.
How can you participate in the inquiry? Begin simply by becoming aware of the choices you are making and what the mind-set is behind the choice. If you choose and feel puny, anxious, confused or any other feeling that isn’t a ‘good’ feeling, you might look to see if you capitulated to someone or to an old idea about life and what is possible for you. You might be breaking what Don Miguel Ruiz called our ‘inner rule book’. These inner rules are mostly not of our own choosing but ones we adopted without question from the domestication we received as children. Often, even if making a new positive and good choice, the breaking of those rules can leave us feeling like we are doing something wrong. Could be something as simple as not making your bed in the morning or forgetting to brush your teeth. Or something as major about taking a new job or getting in or out of a relationship!
To find your authentic path and voice you might need to move through the discomfort of a new choice. To choose out of faith rather than fear can mean that you disappoint a friend, a mate, a parent, sibling, or your own inner critic.
A question you might ask yourself as you navigate your options is, “What do I really want in this situation and why am afraid to choose it?” or “If I really knew for sure that I am supported, maintained, and sustained by a benevolent and willing universe, what would I choose right now?”
Start with awareness. Then take some baby-steps in choosing with faith on some small thing. God only knows where that might lead you!
It is June 17th, 2022.
I am walking perfectly, and all is brilliantly well.
Love, Denise
A major excitement this week was successfully obtaining a VPN for my laptop, after many failed attempts with numerous VPN companies. For $10 a month I now sign into a server located in New York City which allows me access to US television, which means I get Hulu back! This is awesome for so many reasons but good today because it led me to the topic of this blog. “May your choices reflect hope and not fear.” The word ‘faith’ is stronger than the word hope, so I am going to use it instead.
The context for the conversation is the actual desire to live the idea of our being spiritual and living from our spiritual identity rather than the ego or our purely human identity. Faith is of the Spirit and fear is of the Ego. Living from the insight of spiritual discernment will almost certainly assure that you continue to move in the direction of soulful fulfillment rather than egoic disappointment. Choosing with faith will almost certainly get you off the hamster-wheel of continuing to make the same mistakes.
Socrates said long ago, “An unexamined life is not worth living” which is meaningful within the conversation about the raising of personal and global consciousness. The awakening of a human being gives life value, purpose and meaning. I no longer even think it lofty! An awakened human being is merely one who has moved out of the past, into the present moment, examined the conditioned self and moved into a state of ever-increasing awareness of being more than our bodies and belongings.
My personal as well as professional work as a spiritual teacher and life coach in the world has to do with living life from a place of spiritual power – not powerlessness. I am passionate about authenticity and freedom and strive always to feel that I am living my deepest path – not a path that has been established for me by outside influences, judgments, or mandates. Since the age of 50, I have been striving to end up on my deathbed satisfied, fulfilled and complete – defined by something within me, call it what you will, not by my mother or the government.
A part of the examination of your life might be to explore whether your make the choices you inevitably must make in life from a place of fear or a place of faith. I am not sure it is easy but certainly worthwhile.
I am an expert of choosing with faith. I was tested last year! In December 2021, 30 days after my left hip replacement. 27 days after an ischemic stroke, my sisters went back to their respective homes, and I was alone in my beautiful house in Southwest Florida. I had abruptly lost my capacity to walk, to work, to drive. I truly was kind of at my wits end. What kept going through my mind is what was said to me by one of the nurses in the neuro ward at Gulf Coast Hospital. She danced and pranced in one day, detecting my state of being and proceeded to cheerfully remind me that God had me and that whatever was going on, I was on God’s time now. She said something to the effect that my hip and my stroke were nothing for God so just put on my dancing shoes and earrings and keep on keeping on.
I realized in that desperate December of 2021 that if I was ever going to demonstrate the truth of the principles I taught, if I was ever going to walk the walk of faith again, it was now. I didn’t really know if I would ever walk properly again. I had just learned of the ‘critical occlusion’ in my brain, I did not know if I was a ticking time bomb for another stroke. I had reluctantly agreed to take medication to thin my blood and lower my cholesterol doing my part to avoid a future situation. I was tested 6 weeks after the stroke and cleared to drive – a kind of miracle all by itself. When I searched my heart and contemplated the possibility of a shortened survival time – I chose to move forward with radical faith. I released life in Southwest Florida. I sold my house and everything in it. I sold my car. I opened a virtual mail repository, sent 4 boxes to a friend, and I brought whatever was left to South Africa. That as on April 1st of 2022. I do not regret the choice to do that even a little. I know that I can always buy another house and car. I can purchase a TV, couch or a new pair of jeans at any time.
Granted, my choice was somewhat radical. I do not have children. I do have a decent social security check each month and a bit of a nest-egg. I was relatively free to be a bit radical. But the value of choosing from faith over fear applies to all choices - big and small.
How can you participate in the inquiry? Begin simply by becoming aware of the choices you are making and what the mind-set is behind the choice. If you choose and feel puny, anxious, confused or any other feeling that isn’t a ‘good’ feeling, you might look to see if you capitulated to someone or an old idea. You might be breaking what Don Miguel Ruiz called our ‘inner rule book’. These inner rules are mostly not of our own choosing but ones we adopted without question from the domestication we received as children. Often, even if making a new positive and good choice, the breaking of those rules can leave us feeling like we are doing something wrong. Could be something as simple as not making your bed in the morning or forgetting to brush your teeth.
To find your authentic path and voice you might need to move through the discomfort of a new choice. To choose out of faith rather than fear can mean that you disappoint a friend, a mate, a parent, sibling, or your own inner critic.
A question you might ask yourself as you navigate your options is, “What do I really want in this situation and why am afraid to choose it?” or “If I really knew for sure that I am supported, maintained, and sustained by a benevolent and willing universe, what would I choose in this situation?”
Start with awareness. Then take some baby-steps in choosing with faith on some small thing. God only knows where that might lead you!
It is June 17th, 2022.
I am walking perfectly, and all is well.
Love, Denise
Positive Expectation
Blessings everyone!
These beautiful images are from an all day trip to Krueger Park with friends Eileen and Vincent. My inspiration for "positive expectation" came from the leopard sighting which occurred at the very end of our day. I just knew it would! Positive expectancy is the calm and peaceful assurance that what you are wanting, seeking, desiring ----- is on its way.
So many people approach life with the exact opposite - negative expectation. Or perhaps worse -- no expectation. Whether positive, negative or absent, all is based on the past and the conditioning we have experienced in our world. Negative expectation may help to protect against being disappointed. Negative or no expectation is more than likely a result in the belief in our powerlessness against people, places, conditions and circumstances. A belief that the world exists outside of and apart from us. And perhaps also that the world is not a friendly, responsive or familiar place. New Thought philosophy along with quantum physics and many spiritual traditions, believe in the idea that the universe is connected, that we are connected. This being true means that your mind and the leopards mind share the same airspace. Your mind and the mind of your future mate, boss or friend are connected. Your mind and heart are magnets and call to you that which you call to you through your positive expectancy. And unfortunately we also call to ourselves that which we call to ourselves through our negative expectancy as well. It must this way. So it is worth noting whether or not you walk around expecting what you want experience, have, do or be. It is worth nothing whether or not you protect yourself by not expecting anything. Or if you brace yourself for the worst. In some ways it would be nice if the world was a fixed and rigid place. At least then we could figure out how to manage ourselves in relationship to everything. But fortunately really --- the world will be to us what we are to it. Give up the notion that some people are born lucky or are in the right place at the right time. Everything comes to each by way of consciousness. Practice and I can almost guarantee that more good will come to you.
Changing Course
Blessings everyone!
Just returned from a delightful trip to the Chacma Bush Camp with my dear friends Eileen and Vinny from North Carolina. Absolutely amazing animal sightings -- lion, elephant, hyena, just to name a few. The food was amazing and the lodging so nice.
My spiritual slant this trip had to do with being willing to shift gears and change direction at any moment. This came about because we were on our way to a much anticipated drive to the river for a hippo-day, when 10 lions walked out of the bush while we stopped for a brief moment to check out a watering hole. We had to make a decision -- continue to the river or spend the evening with the lions. We chose the lions.
But doesn't this also happen in our life. We have a plan. We have committed to the plan. And nothing can deter us from reaching our goal. But wait! Something else pops up along the way. Do we stop long enough to see it? Do we consider a change of plans? Should we? I have found for myself that I love having a plan and almost always do have one. However, every once in awhile, LIFE has a different plan. Sometimes we say that we make plans and then God laughs. Have you ever gotten a gentle nudge that says turn left instead of right. Stay home instead of going? I do think that our Higher Self is constantly giving us information not of this world that if noticed, observed and possible obeyed - will take us where we are meant to go.
Noun or Verb?
Blessings everyone!
My sister and I Just returned from a stupendous 3-night trip to the Umlani Bush Camp located in the Timbavati Game Reserve. It was a dismal start as the day of travel was a very cold, wet and rainy day. The accommodations were quite rustic so zero relief from the cold and not much from the rain which dripped from the thatched roof onto our beds and our heads. The trip got better after the first 24 hours, awakening to a soggy landscape but a sliver of sunshine. All in all, it was quite spectacular as it doesn’t get much better than Wild Dogs, Rhino, and Leopard. Though our decision to not go on the final game drive of the trip was a very bad decision, missing the sighting of a Cheetah and her babies. Grrrrr! We were joined this trip by 12 other travelers from all over the world. The comradery and conversation were as yummy as the food – which was plentiful and delicious.
My sharing today has to do with the distinction between nouns and verbs initiated by a comment from my friend Bill who recently shared his retirement this fall and used the phrase ‘repurpose’ when talking about what comes after that for him. I liked it.
I am aware that In nature, everything is repurposed. An antelope is an antelope until the leopard decides to have it for dinner. The antelope then becomes that which sustains both the leopard as well as the leopards’ babies. After the leopard eats what it eats, hyenas, vultures, and jackals swoop in to eat to sustain themselves and their young. This will include almost 100% of the antelope leaving what is behind for insects – with everything ultimately returning to nourish the earth itself. What is perhaps the most interesting is the role of poop. Yep, poop. The Dung Beetle uses poop by creating a poop-ball twice its size, laying its eggs inside and then rolling the whole thing to a safe place for the new baby beetles to hatch. The hyena is the one who eats bones which makes hyena poop calcium dense which gets eaten by lots of animals to help with the strengthening of their bones.
I suppose what is of interest to us as humans navigating our short earth-walk, is the awareness that the natural world is in a continuous state of repurposing. It makes the question of “what is my purpose” a moving target. Perhaps trying to figure out the purpose of absolutely anything is folly. Perhaps, like the antelope, maybe it changes over time and circumstance.
I am recalling a sermon I gave exploring the problem with thinking of ourselves or the world as merely nouns. Webster’s defines a noun as the part of speech that is used to name or describe a person, place, thing. Such as, I am a minister. I am old. This is good or that is beautiful. Obviously, everything named or described is quite transient, a mere momentary perception by the one describing in the moment.
A verb is that part of speech which denotes action, movement, change. A noun denotes a kind of is-ness while a verb denotes a kind of becoming. The word “repurpose “is a verb. Repurpose means to take on a new use – to change the reason for which something or someone has been created or made. In my mind I was not created to be this or that, or to experience just this or that. It is pretty darn easy to get stuck in life where we are, isn’t it? We spend a lot of time resisting, denying and in a myriad of ways, digging our heals in. But perhaps, if we can embrace this inevitable repurposing of ourselves with anticipation, joy, or curiosity, it might be easier to navigate the changes that come and perhaps even make life more fun.
Retirement is a great example because if you have been in a career your whole life and you identify as that or your entire social structure is built around that, retirement could be experienced as a loss or an un-welcomed change. Children grow up and leave home and for the parents left behind – it is a big time of repurposing yourself in life – right? As the result of my recent health changes, I too have experienced exploring new value and reasons for being.
From a metaphysical or scientific viewpoint – there are no nouns. I think the best we can do is too loosely describe our experience of what IS in any given moment, fully aware that whatever that is, it will change. Everything is in a constant state of becoming or evolving. We will never be one thing for very long. Happy or sad. Young or old. Not healthy or ill. Not alive or dead. Death can feel like the end of being what you call yourself. What if it is not the end but the start of a glorious repurposing of your Self – your essence.
I may be getting a bit deep here for a travel blog, but I think the point is to lighten up and remember that we are so much more than the labels that we use, than the roles that we fill. Whether you are urged to change by something within yourself called ‘divine discontent’ or by a life circumstance like retirement, illness or an empty nest, remember that in every moment LIFE will find a way to gain benefit and value from your existence. Purpose may be transient but never absent. Lighten up, relax, be grateful, and celebrate your SELF right where you are and right where you inevitably will be.
The Back Nine
Blessings everyone. So great to be connecting with you on this glorious Friday morning from the African Bush. My sister Janell is here with me and we completed our evening game drive at the Kapama Game Reserve last night. My animal report this morning is so good with two spectacular sightings. One is a beautiful endangered species, the Ground Hornbill. They are quite rare to spot these days with many programs taking place attempting to ensure their continued existence. To see 5 of them at one time and so close is a real treat. We also had a fabulous sighting of three rhinos. They were gorgeous and having a great deal of fun playing in a water hole. There could easily come a time when they will be extinct so it is always a great honor and privilege to be in the company of them.
I am also extremely happy to report this week that my hip and leg are 100% back to normal. I am walking - maybe even skipping a little with no pain whatsoever. This is very good news. I would actually say hat my overall health took a quantum leap for the better this past week and the future is once again swelling with possibility.
But, I am still deep in the conversation with myself about the fact that I am in last quarter of my life - or the final third - or now the back-nine. Based on the average life-expectancy of 81 years for an American woman, that translates into having started the last quarter at 60 or my final third at 54. Either way of course, there are more days behind me than there are in front of me. I, by the way, love this conversation and feel no morbidity, fear or awkwardness a bout it. As with every year of life, I personally desire to be living a life of spiritual power -- authentic, meaningful, and happy . At 70, I suppose I might add in comfortable as well.
A dear friend of mine this week introduced me to the concept of the "back-nine". This term refers to the last 9 holes on of an 18-hole golf course. I can't resist the urge to continue the analogy as it pertains to a lifetime. The back nine of an 81-year life would start at age 72. For whatever reason, I AM currently in deep contemplation, meditation and reflection of what it means to be nearing the completion of this human life. No matter how hard I might try, my thoughts continue to move into those reflections. I will more than likely continue to speak of the process moving forward.
I have completed the deconstruction of a material existence for the most part. I have forgiven everyone, I am not afraid of dying, I no longer really care too much what you think of me – what else? Well I do still care way to much about how much I weigh and wrinkles. I am totally invested in physical comfort – good beds, great bras (or no bras), a bath tub and pleasing things to see eat and do. I do think it is a relevant, necessary and important conversation to open up and engage in. To move out of an ego-centric life to a spirit-centric life is important for all of us regardless of age, for the continuation of our species, the continuation of all species and the planet itself. If we don't replace hate with love, and fear with faith -- not too much will ever change really. Because this is true, I will continue to speak to the path of spiritual awakening always and will continue the dialog and conversation about the process of aging and dying from a spiritual perspective. What are your thoughts about your own place in the circle of life?
The Power of Stillness
Blessings everyone! It has certainly been an epic 10 days since we last connected. A wonderful friend and I spent 6 days at the Manwke Bush Camp and the Moremi Game Preserve. A few pictures below to see the lodge which was quite spectacular. Oddly enough, we saw some beautiful antelope, tons of giraffe, and few zebra – but not one predator, which means, no lions, leopards, cheetah, hyena or jackals. A few birds of prey but that was it. All in all, a very memorable experience. My friend got a proposal from a Botswanan man -- including the dowery of many cows. She respectfully declined the proposal! We are back home in Hoedspruit where to my delight, we have a new member of our animal family. A newborn Nyala who I am naming Jabori which means one who brings comfort. It will be a few months before we know if it is a boy or a girl. The first sign will be some tiny horns or the lack of tiny horns, The girls grow up to look like their mamas and the boys grown up to look like their daddy’s.
My spiritual awareness from the recent trip had to do with stillness and how little we know about it, and how seldom we experience it. This includes both outer stillness and inner stillness. If we are to have a real and true experience of the natural world, stillness (which includes patience) is required. In some ways, the safari experience is the antithesis of what is really needed. The land rovers go barreling through the African bush. The vehicles are large, loud, and smelly. Most animals, except for the cats and elephants, run away as fast as they can. To really see the large and small creatures of the earth, it works best to stop the vehicle and simply sit there for some period of time so that everyone feels safe enough to reveal their sacred faces. It takes a very seasoned, skillful, and soulful safari guide to provide that experience to the guests. We were NOT fortunate enough to have that person guiding us in Botswana – so probably missed the possibility of sacred observation in most cases.
I suggest that this practice of patience and stillness applies to each of us right where we are – at home, at work, or on vacation. If we just barrel through life, externally making noise and movement, we will miss the sacred nuances of life. We will miss that which is precious in our everyday experience. I share one of my favorite short writings on the subject.
Unadulterated Happiness
I absolutely love talking about happiness! Happiness has been a foundational commitment in my life for the past 10 years. I am 70 years young, and having gratefully survived a stroke this past November, I can’t seem to dispel a mild obsession with my mortality and really wanting to pay attention to what matters most for the duration of my tenure here. For me, at least for now, what matters is being unfettered by too many belongings or too much of my attention on achievement. Since divesting my life of 95% of all of the ‘stuff’ and relocating to South Africa for a season, I am leaning into what seems to be endless hours of solitude and reflection, a daily struggle with the uncomfortable unfamiliarity of living in South Africa and the softening into a completely unknown future. I suppose I will ultimately seek out the known and comfortable again, for it is true that there IS great comfort in routine and familiarity. But we shall see.
Thus, I am once again moved to speak of happiness as the ultimate goal of living. In the spirit of the philosophy, faith and way of life that I adopted through New Thought teachings 20 years ago, I strive to practice and teach that there is no room for the idea that God could or would test us through suffering, that sacrifice is somehow holy or that the greater the burdens you endure results in the greater admiration and respect from God or the greater your reward upon your death. Nope. In my world, the purpose of your life is to be happy, satisfied, fulfilled, loved, and joyful. If the achievement of your happiness does not harm another person or animal, or the earth - then I say you have the right to have, do and be whatever will gets you there.
I do understand that the idea of happiness as the goal of life is radical and perhaps for some of us easier said than done. I think it may just begin with an awareness that happiness is not only a reasonable feeling to attain but also possible. Perhaps I can give you permission to explore and pursue happiness which can be the beginning of you giving yourself permission. Once you do that, the past will begin to reveal its value in your life, the future will begin to reveal new conditions and circumstances and the present moment will reveal to you a peace that transcends all human understanding.
Moving into the weekend, I have been enthralled this week with the life and death of Steve Jobs. My enthrallment isn’t new as I have been captivated by his life for many years. A Little known fact is that I was born and raised in California and lived in Silicon Valley for many years. It was 1978 when I entered into that wildly creative and life changing time when both the Apple Computer and the Dos-based Computer were introduced to our world. STEVE Jobs was 23 and I was 27. Steve died a billionaire on October 5th, 2011, at 56 from pancreatic cancer. His death moved me deeply as did the words of wisdom he left behind which I will share more of on Saturday as the focus of my Live Stream at 9am EST on Facebook and YouTube. The crux of his final words was to not miss what is truly important. I think happiness is one of those things we don’t want to miss.
PS Remember that as with all other positive, practical, and prosperous ways of living, you can’t be unhappy enough to make an unhappy person happy just as you can’t be poor enough to make a poor person wealthy. Your only job as a unique and individualized expression of the Infinite is to allow every good thing to be expressed through you!
Love, Denise
Join me tomorrow morning 9am on Facebook and YouTube Live
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/A-Life-of-Spiritual-Power-106836340982992
Zoom ID: https://zoom.us/j/4792839409
The Power of NOTHING and the elephants!
I don't know of anyone who does not have some deep and primal connection to elephants.
They are the true KING of the jungle.
This Saturday at 9am EST I will continue the exploration of time and the power of NOTHING..
One of my favorited excerpts is from a book by Kurt Vonnegut; Dead Eye Dick. " I have caught life. I have come down with life. I was a wisp of undifferentiated nothingness, and then a little peephole opened quite suddenly. Light and sound poured in. Voices began to describe me and my surroundings. Nothing they said could be appealed. They said I was a boy named Rudolph Waltz, and that was that. They said the year was 1932 and that was that. They said I was in Midland, Ohio and that was that. They never shut up. Year after year after year they piled detail upon detail upon detail. They do it still. You know what they say now? The say the year is 1982, and that I am fifty years old... blah, blah, blah, blah."
We can all write our equivalent of this story - right? "I have caught life. I was an invisible non-material state of being bliss and then decided to foray into the realm of the visible. Light and sound poured in and voices began to describe me and my surroundings. They said the year was 1951 and that my name was Denise, the oldest of 5 children born to poor and powerless teenagers. They said I was of the ilk that would never go to college and that life would be a struggle. They said there were rich people and poor people and that we were poor. There were people who had everything and people who had nothing - and we were the have nothings. They said I loved John F. Kennedy, was against the Vietnam war and should remember my place. It was best to be seen and not heard and to love and trust sparingly. You are born, you pay taxes and then you die and everything in between is just plain hard. My family, friends, teachers, and preachers, and the media have never stopped telling me how life is. Now they say that I am 70 years old, close to the the statistical expiration date of 81.1 years (for women in U), and to try to be happy being comfortable and grateful to having lived this long. Blah..blah..blah...
The point is that life gets dictated to us pretty early on and unless and until we open the eyes of our hearts and see through the eyes of our authentic Self (our SELF as a Spirit), the realm of possibility and the realm of 'nothing', will remain illusive. Living from past circumstances (or something) rather than from possibility (nothing), our lives will inevitably have a kind of limiting, restricting feeling to it. Sometimes that might be a nudge to think differently or a push to pivot into a new idea or activity -- but when chronic it can be the source of a great deal of existential angst, depression, addictive behaviors or lethargy. Each of us has to determine for ourselves our tolerance level for this kind of suffering.
I know mine is quite low. I have re-invented myself more times than I can count in my 70 years on the planet. I did start out to be the first born child of painfully poor and powerless teenagers. I Somehow made it through the melodrama of being a child raised in an alcoholic household to reinvent myself as the wife of an orthodontist, wall-papering my bathroom on a monthly basis and playing bridge with the ladies at the country club twice a week. That clearly wasn't it for me! I spent another twenty years playing a variety of roles in a plethora of plots -- some fun, some traumatic or dramatic, some lucrative, some quite interesting - all had in common an ongoing search for someone or something that remotely matched who I knew myself to be on the inside.
Then something broke open or broke through. The only way I know to talk about it is that I got cured. If I caught life then what happened is I found the cure for the life I had caught. That cure was a coming face-to-face with the SELF I really am and now know myself to be, separate and apart from the self I was told and believed myself to be. I don't mean for that to sound lofty. But it opened up something deep and fierce and authentic in me that has allowed me to live in a creative, authentic, unapologetic kind of way. Is the this way better than the normal way? Today, I say yes. In truth life still happens in all of its glory and its challenges. Covid still came, my cats still died, I still had a stroke. But I am happy, living in the present and unfettered by the past and mostly I feel real. I no longer blame others or myself. I am definitely not feeling sorry for myself. I simply ask at every turn, "What do I want to do, to have and to be from this moment forward?" And I ask God (the Infinite Ineffable) surrounding us all, "What would you have me do and/or have me be in this moment?". I listen carefully, and then I go about the business of creating something out of nothing in the full awareness that my mind, my thoughts, my beliefs, my intentions and my deepest and most soulful commitments are the tool of manifestation -- Life's gift to us to co-create our destiny.
Write your blah blah blah paragraph -- and then write your created future paragraph. It is quite fun!
Join me tomorrow morning 9am on Facebook and YouTube Live to explore the top of "Creating Something Out of Nothing".
Love, Denise
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/A-Life-of-Spiritual-Power-106836340982992
Zoom ID: https://zoom.us/j/4792839409
